Beat Me in St Louis VI, April 2002
I have combined a lot of different activities into my various trips in the past six years, but I have never had a trip quite like the one I
have just returned from. Despite all the controversy that surrounded this event from a variety of sources, the event organizers
managed to live up to all of their promises for a great weekend and then some!
BMSL-VI promised to be a special trip for me for many reasons; my special "sister" Jackie and our very good friend Carla were
coming out from VA and Pa to join me for the weekend, Brook and Katie (who I've only seen once since their weeding) were
coming to town also, I was being given the opportunity to present two seminars on Crossdressing, and there would be the
opportunity for play, shopping and visiting with new and old friends alike.
Having packed just about everything femme that I have acquired over the years into my poor little car, I headed off to St Louis on
Thursday morning. By late afternoon I was settled into the host hotel and had met up with Carla and Jackie. We spent the
afternoon visiting and going over the plans for the two presentations they would be helping me with. The "down" time also
allowed us a chance to relax a bit before the craziness of the weekend began. Brook and Katie joined us for a late dinner and
we then helped them get settled into the hotel also. We had three rooms, all next to each other, so we were able to visit and
"borrow" from each other without a lot of extra running around.
Friday morning we slept in late (what a pleasure that was) and then headed off to a real nice family run café near the hotel that
has become part of our St Louis routine. Although Katie, Jackie and I were mainly still in "boy-drag", you could feel the femme
side of each of us already emerging for the weekend. We then headed off in various directions for last minute errands, checking
in with the folks running the event for updates on the seminars, and seeing if other friends had arrived yet for the event.
One of my first "missions" of the trip was to seek out the two leaders of the event and patch up a misunderstanding that had
occurred during my last visit to one of their events in November 2001. I was relieved to be received in the way I was by both of
them, although seeing me in "boy" mode had its usual confusing affect on both of them. Until I explained who I was and what I
wanted to talk about, they were both a bit confused as to "who" I was. When one of them saw me later in full femme made, he
came over to me, gave me a big hug and said, "Now I know who you are!" Gawd, I love that feeling of knowing the femme me
looks that much different from the drab boy side of me!
One of the things that continually amaze me is how many people remember me (and my "gang") from previous events. Many
actually seek us out to say hi and catch up on what we've been up to. Especially at the St Louis events, this is becoming more
and more a regular occurrence. And it didn’t matter if we were glammed out or just dressed casually, they always seemed to
recognize us!
One of the first persons Jackie and I ran into in the lounge area of the hotel before we had even changed to our femme clothes
was Mistress Doris, the sweet lady who had gushed and cooed over both of us last year at the same event. When I introduced
her to Katie, she was even happier, as she truly enjoys CD's and is very pleased to see more us showing up at events like this.
By the end of the weekend, she even happier, as we increased our number from three to ten lovely "ladies", with a few more
ready to come out of the wings next year!
Another memorable reunion was with the folks from Springfield, MO. Again, I hadn't even changed yet to my femme clothes and
they spotted me in the hallway, put down the things they were lugging to their rooms and gave me a big, very gracious hug. Two
of the ladies from this group were among the many folks that spoke to me at Spanksgiving last year and sparked the idea for me
to present my thoughts through a seminar at BMSL.
Friday afternoon, I dressed in a nice black top and long skirt and helped for a bit at the ID check in the lobby, which gave a
chance to meet new friends and greet old ones. After that I wandered through the vendors' area with Jackie and Carla for a bit,
then had a nice relaxing dinner before the dungeon opened up. I guess I've been to enough of these events now, and stand out
enough, that I’ve become known to most of the regular vendors
One of the things I have learned recently is that I can be much more comfortable and just as well received dressing in more
"normal" femme outfits, even at events such as BMSL. Both of my outfits for Friday were selected with that in mind and the
comments from all I encountered supported this thought well. Saturday I did revert to more fetish attire for the seminars I was
hosting, the fashion show that evening, and the dungeon time later that night, yet I was just as comfortable in more relaxed
outfits in between those activities, with out losing any of my "head space". And the same could be said for Sun, when I went for
a more neutral look the majority of the day. By this point folks were used to seeing me in my "boy" mode, my very femme best or
somewhere in-between. But I still got a few gawks from folks who I had spent one day speaking to en-femme, recognized my
voice, but not my appearance in "boy" wear the next day.
Friday night in the dungeon was awesome. Jackie topped me for the very first time and it was one of the prettiest scenes you
could ever imagine. It was a very intense scene, with Jackie showing her finesse with floggers and the single tail. For the start
of the scene, she had me blindfolded, face-down on a cross, with Carla helping her get me warmed up. Towards the end of the
scene, she turned me around and removed the blindfold so I had to watch each flick of the single tail. She definitely expanded
my limits with that enticing toy. As we finished playing, Katie brought a Domme over that wanted to meet me. It was Ms. Geil,
who I have chatted with a few times via the Sissyland Yahoo! Group. She said she enjoyed watching the scene and hoped we
could talk later during the weekend, which we did several times. Jackie also pointed out a couple of CD's who had been intently
watching us. We both made it a point to speak to these lovely ladies during the evening, inviting them our seminars the next
day. One asked if we could help do her makeup as this was the first time she would be dressing, in public or private. After a
little chat, she agreed to be our model for the next days Transformation seminar. Since we had a full day planned for Saturday,
we didn’t stay up too late, finally calling it a day around 1:30 am.
Saturday was a busy day for me and my "gang". Following breakfast and a quick planning session for our day's activities, we
prepared for the first of the two seminars I was hosting that day. Just as I finished dressing, the leather skirt I planned on
wearing for the day ripped on me and I had to redress, trying very hard to work around the corset I had already put on over my
blouse and the skirt. Jackie and Carla managed to keep me clam through this, my second outfit of the day was donned with
further disaster. Well, almost. When I stopped at the Paul C. Leather room to have Kitty check my corset, she pointed out I had it
on upside down. We quickly got it off (which is a minor chore in itself) and Kitty kindly put it back on me properly. The back-up
outfit, my while lacey pull-over blouse, black spandex and PVC trimmed pants, the corset and high-heeled pumps worked well
enough that I kept it on for the whole morning and afternoon.
The first presentation I hosted, with the help of my gang, on a roundtable discussion called "Cross-dressing and the Scene".
Helping me were: Jackie, my "sister" who is rapidly becoming a very experienced TG and is an accomplished scene switch;
Mistress Brook and her submissive Katie, a 24/7 DS couple; and Carla, a GG who has supported and assisted both Jackie and
I in our dressing adventures. We had three other cross dressers join us, one of them in a nice, casual "day" femme day outfit.
Of the other two CD's, one said he dresses occasionally, but hadn't brought his stuff to this event, and the other one was the
new "girl" that had approached us the night before. Also sitting in for the whole ninety minutes was a couple of GG's interested
in CDs. One male Dom from Springfield, MO., dropped in for a few minutes and made some very supportive comments about
CDs and the scene. He even related his own experiences of cross dressing, which really helped a couple of the girls a lot. A
few others came and went during the discussion, which openly addressed many of the concerns of the folks there.
Even after the seminar was over, each of us found ourselves approached by folks from the seminar or others that had missed it,
wanting to ask questions or get advice. Although the turn-out for this first seminar was low, everyone was happy with the
discussion and feeling of support they took away from it.
We had some time between the two seminars for lunch and for the gang to take some other seminars, while I gathered up the
supplies we would need for the second presentation. This one was on "Crossdressing Techniques and Fashions". And the
turn out really knocked my socks off. We had twenty people attend, including two more CDs! And two of the Domme's of the
CDs that were there. This discussion got real active, with a lot of side conversations going on as we started to do Jennifer's first
makeover. Jackie and I switched off with various parts of the makeover, with a couple of the ladies pitching in when needed.
The change was awesome and it was a treat to watch the expressions of Jennifer's Mistress as the process progressed. The
change in her appearance was almost beyond description. To top the make-over, instead of using a wig, one of the Domme's
used a pick to rework Jennifer's own hair into a very passable femme style. The energy of the exchanges during this seminar
was so catching! Everyone in the room was getting involved in the transformation and the exchange of ideas that was taking
place. When the topic turned to breast forms for example, CDs and GGs alike were popping out breast forms and enhancers to
show the differences in styles and uses. It got lively enough at one point we were asked by the seminar monitors to quiet it
down a little! Again the discussions continued far beyond the confines of the meeting room. Throughout dinner and while we
were getting ready for the evening's activities, several of us got into some really great conversations about dressing and the
techniques we use.
As part of the dungeon's opening ceremonies Saturday night, we did a three part CD fashion show. Not knowing if there would
be other CDs to help with it, we had originally planned on just Jackie, Katie and me doing the modeling. After the great time we
had during the second seminar, we had five more girls join us for the show; three modeling outfits and two bashful ones
helping Carla and Brook get us changed and back out in time for the next cue. We modeled evening outfits first, with Katie,
Jackie and I showing off our finest dressy outfits. I doubled as the MC and decided after the first round to make one change and
then just do the MC duties. Jackie, with her poise and great taste in fashion got great reactions for the crowd during the dressy,
fetish and corset presentations she did. Katie has a natural modeling flair and entertained the group as she showed off her
more reasonable wardrobe of evening and house maid wear. Her last outfit however brought the house down. This was the
lovely gown she wore for her wedding to Ms. Brook last year. The crowd really got into it when she walked out to the carpet, then
started doing the wedding step. The crowd also showed their appreciation for Jennifer's debut both times she came out. Her
Victorian style evening outfit was great, but the crowd really liked the corset she was wearing under it! Jennifer was absolutely
gorgeous and made me real proud she had included us in her coming out! Fetish was the main theme of our second set and
Erica, a Kansas City girl, also making her first major public appearance, and EZ, a local St. Louis girl, got the crowd revved up
with real hot outfits! When I brought all the girls and our "support" team out for one more bow, I felt we had really made a
favorable impression on the folks attending the event. From the comments I've received since then, I KNOW we made a
difference!
One last note about the fashion show: When I changed to my maid's uniform for the second and third rounds, I decided to have
a little fun with the crowd. While I was moving around the "stage" introducing the girls as they came out, I noticed a lot of folks
trying to finds the source of the jiggling sound that seemed to follow my movements. After the show when I was asked about
this I just said I was a properly dressed sissy and raised my dressed to show off my bell and the KTB that also attached to my
"clitty". The women that saw it all smiled and most of the men that were brave enough to look took a step back and grabbed
their crotches (giggle) !
After all that was going on throughout Saturday, I opted out of another play session with Jackie, instead helping her top Carla.
This was a special treat for me, since this Carla is a special friend who has topped me in the past, and it was a way to pay her
back kindly for all the help she was during the day. She had "absorbed" a great deal of my stress during the day and really
needed some relaxation. Jackie is an awesome submissive, as I have watched her often with her owner Ms, Cleo; but as I
learned this past weekend, she is a very talented top also. Carla received the attention she deserved and was very “relaxed”
after the session. She later topped the night off with another "quiet" scene with Jay Wiseman. I was very happy to see her have
a great time after all she had done for us during that day
I also caught glimpses of Brook and Katie having a good time both Friday and Saturday night, taking turns topping each other. I
am very happy at the way those two have adapted to each other and their inputs during the seminars were a real insight into the
24/7 lifestyle so many people hold as a fantasy and that they live in reality.
We stayed at the dungeon much longer than we planned Saturday night, but still managed to get back to the rooms before the
dungeon was actually closed. We actually slept in again (at least until around 8am), before getting up for breakfast. After
helping Carla and Jackie pack for the next leg of their trip, we all wandered the venders area some more, doing a little shopping,
while they said their goodbyes to everyone. After they left I did the same with Brook and Katie, before heading back to the
venders' area to help some friends vending there start to pack up. I find the last day of an event is the most emotional for me as
I ponder going back to my male self and after all I had done this weekend that transition was even harder. It was nice to be able
to talk to folks like Roy from Leather Harvest about these thoughts as we packed his display up and loaded his van. After seeing
everyone off, I spent the early part of the evening in the lounge talking with the St. Louis folks and relaxing a little. After the hectic
schedule of the past few days, the "down time" was really a blessing. After a good nights sleep, I too headed for home.
My recent outings have showed me another side of my femme self, one that is a lot harder to hide after a weekend such as this.
I find myself much more in touch with other genetic girls or "girlies" such as myself; that is not thinking in terms of a guy
dressing and acting as a woman, but rather as a woman myself, as least mentally. One of the observations that Roy made
while we talking on Sunday was the changes in my confidence and demeanor he has noticed over the three years we've known
each other. He finds himself talking to me as a female confidant, not as a guy into a variation of the scene. He is not the first to
say that, and/or treat me in that manner. It makes me wonder how much of my “femme” identity comes out in my '"regular" life
that I don't notice? And if I don't notice it, do others? Hmmmmmmm, this could get real tricky if I'm not careful.
This weekend was a success in many ways. I think our presentations made a difference for many folks; both those wanting to
dress or improve their femme image, and for those that got a new understanding of CDs. I was able to mend the fence that was
"bent" a bit during Spanksgiving. I met a whole slew of new friends, many of whom have already been in contact via e-mails and
the net. I've gotten several requests to present my talks and visit with groups in St Louis, Springfield, MO., and elsewhere. And I
was asked by a Domme if I would serve at one of her parties some time. WoW!
As I think through all that has happened recently, I will probably add to this, but for now I think I’ve written enough about this
wonderful weekend.
-e-