Summing up 2002!

          Wow!  What a year.  I have had the greatest time learning, growing and meeting new folks.  My
wardrobe has increased dramatically, this web site has grown to be a useful resource point for other girls and
folks in the scene, and I found several new places for me to enjoy my thing.  But most importantly, I had the
chance to think through my experiences and come away from this year with a much clearer view of my
femininity and my place in the scene.

I think I have found many of my answers, not necessarily from others, but from inside myself as a result of my
interactions with them.  My strong needs to serve others had always been a part of me, but Ms. LashDomme,
Marti and Tammie showed new ways to express and fulfill those needs.  Jackie and Meg gave me direction,
giving me the strength to pursue those things I questioned and needed to answer for myself.

I have discovered a whole new world as I continue to join more of both sides of my "life" into one person.  For
so long I treated "Elita" as one person and my male side as another.  Especially after the New Attitude
experience, I have found an increased peace of mind as the two become one.  I have a long way to go in
understanding and working with this discovery, but thanks to that special time in my life, I am well on my way.  
Comments made to me by those that have known me for a while have shown me that the change is very
noticeable and comforting.  As I am more comfortable with my dual roles, it is easy for others to enjoy me for
who I am.  The change in physical roles is much easier as the inner me is now much at peace, instead of the
mental confusion I have had in the past.  No, I haven't formed all the answers, but I have taken major steps in
that direction (at the least, I know what the questions are now!).

And in all this, my supportive wife, Ms J, continues to be my best critic, advisor and friend!  Without her
involvement and approval, none of this would have been possible.  She continues to chat with many of my
special friends on-line, and finally met one, Baby Richy, in person.  Her only complaint has been the rising cost
of my trips, which I have promised to curtail a bit as we work on getting her a newer car and recover from the
one major problem I have encountered this year.

Early in the year I started having periodic problems with first one foot and then both.  By mid-summer it was
bad enough that I could only wear my beloved heels and boots for limited times, before switching to flats.  In
October I finally broke down and agreed to corrective surgery, which was done in mid-Nov.  This has meant
going on disability for a bit and cutting back on a lot of my activities.  With luck, I will be back on my feet by
Christmas.  My goal right now is to be back out and about by March for the next Evening in Leather!  And Beat
Me in St. Louis, which will 4-6 April.  I have already been asked to help coordinate several seminars and
special activities for TG's at that great event.

-e-

Back

          Besides the numerous trips chronicled on this site, I made a few other trips to Chicago to spend time
with Ms LashDomme, shop and visit with friends.  One special weekend I had the chance to visit with my
special Sister Jackie, who was in town on business.  I haven't written a separate report on that weekend for my
own reasons, but it was a special time of friendship and caring.   That one weekend in the early spring set the
tone for this year of discovery and adventure.

Each time I set out for a weekend en femme, it has been an adventure and to varying degrees a journey into
the unknown.  Was the town, place or event I was going to going to be accepting of an older, slightly kinky CD?
 Was I right in trusting the people I was to be with?  Was I going in the right direction with my play and
interests?  Why did I need to search for these things and what were these feelings erupting in me?  A whole
host of questions came to mind at the start of each outing; and often in between those trips also.

Along the way I have really had a lot of fun with new styles of clothes and finding a better sense of the right
"fashion" for me, both in normal attire and fetish wear.  I have become fairly confident in doing my own
makeup, knocking down my "prep" time from two or three hours to less than one hour on several occasions.  I
know it isn’t a timed contest, but getting ready quicker does leave more time for other important tasks and
more fun.  As I have had said many times, my goal has never been to "pass" as a woman, but to blend in and
be accepted for who I am.  I think I have done that well this past year, gaining confidence in my physical
preparations and my outlook on my femme life.

My scene interests did not change all that much this past year, but did get more focused in some areas.  
"Service" has become a major interest for me in variety of ways.  Whether being a maid, doing my security
thing, or just helping another girl find her right look, I do enjoy the special feeling I get from this role.  My desire
to switch to a dominant role occasionally has waned some, but I still find a special pleasure from topping a few
very special people.  One of those is Baby, who has opened a whole new world of play to me.  Again though
my service mode kicks in, as being an Auntie to such a sweet child is a true service of love.  Floggers and
single tails are still among my favorite toys, as are a variety of other impact items.  In a scene Jackie and I did
at BMSL, my limits concerning my incorporating my "maleness" were expanded much further than I ever
imagined.  And upon mentioning this to Ms. LashDomme, we took this a step further, by adding the "bell" to the
target area.  My interest in CBT was renewed this year also, as I incorporate more of my male physical side
into my play.  

One area that has gone in directions I would never had imagined a year ago is my outreach work.  The
seminars I participated in BMSL, New Attitude and for SMSBDSM were awesome.  The results have been very
positive.  I truly feel participants in those sessions took away a new appreciation and understanding of the
gender issues that are at the root of many of my sisters' (and brothers') struggles and interests.  The BMSL
fashion show and the two transformations done at New Attitude are just the tip of positive public views folks got
of our world.  One of the things that at first surprised me and then thrilled me was the number of GG's that
attended the sessions to get ideas for their own use on clothing (especially the fetish stuff) and makeup.  Their
participation in the exchanges that occurred during the sessions was an added plus.  And a lot of that
outreach has continued through my web site and on the internet.

2002 was a special year for me and 2003 is already promising to keep up that exciting growth and pace!  I
hope to see all my special friends much more next year and to make a host of new ones too!  My sincerest
thanks to all that have supported and helped me from the very beginning of my search through today!   
Hugggggggggggles and best wishes!

One very special treat this year was being named the "Girl of the Month" for July 2002 on Sissy Blueball's
Fellatrix's site, Sissyland.com!  Sissy has been a special friend and mentor. almost from the very start of my
journey.  Her comments in the photo piece she put together made me feel very special.  It also reminded me of
how far I have come in a short time and of all those that have helped me get there.  Sissy also honored the
one person who makes my fun en femme possible, Ms. J!